After years of development meetings, code reviews, and "quick fixes," I've discovered there are exactly two universal truths that every developer knows deep in their bones, but somehow we all pretend otherwise.

Truth #1: "This will be a quick fix"

What we say: "Oh, this should be a quick fix. Give me 30 minutes."
What actually happens:
  • 30 minutes → Find the bug
  • 2 hours → Realize it's not a bug, it's a "feature"
  • 4 hours → Discover the real issue in a completely different module
  • 6 hours → Fix breaks something else
  • 8 hours → Question life choices
  • Next day → Submit 47-line change that touches 12 files

The "quick fix" is the developer equivalent of saying "I'll just run to the store real quick" and coming home 3 hours later with everything except what you went for.

Truth #2: "It works on my machine"

The eternal developer defense: "But it works perfectly on my machine!"
Translation:
  • localhost:3000 ≠ Production
  • Your dev environment has 47 custom tweaks
  • You've been running the same Docker container for 8 months
  • Your machine is held together by environment variables and hope
  • Production has this weird thing called "other users"

"It works on my machine" is the programming equivalent of "The car was making that noise yesterday, but it's not doing it now when the mechanic is listening."

The Universal Developer Experience

These aren't bugs in our thinking—they're features of the developer experience. Every programmer has uttered these phrases, and we'll continue to do so because deep down, we know they represent the eternal optimism that makes us love (and hate) this profession.

Bonus truth: You're reading this instead of fixing that bug you said you'd "take a quick look at." 😄